Background and a snapshot of me is I'm a 31yr old male in good physical shape. Have suffered from depression and misanthropy (distrust and dislike) for a while now. Seemingly getting worse as I get older and more isolated. Anxiety and dislike for most social situations. Communication becoming worse as I become more isolated outside of work. Live by myself.

Visited a psychiatrist for first time a couple weeks ago. Have never been to or spoken to a medical professional or therapist before since I'm innately distrustful. Have never taken any psychoactive drugs legal or illegal. Spoke for 30 minutes... felt nervous entire time. Doctor didn't do much to introduce or make me feel comfortable. Had some sort of assistant standing in... literally standing the whole time just watching and listening. Didn't tell me specific diagnosis (also didn't ask), but mentioned depression, anxiety, and mild paranoia symptoms.

Prescribed Prozac and Risperdal, received the generic equivalent in the forms of Fluoxetine HCL 20 mg, and Risperidone 1 mg at alternating times-- morning and night respectively.

Mood definitely brightened. I felt I could look people in the eye. My feelings of depression and hopelessness greatly decreased. But I did feel flat -- no feelings of happiness or sadness -- doing activites like watching TV or talking with others. The side effects were immense fatigue especially in the mornings coupled with insomnia (waking during sleep). I had to drag myself out of bed. By mid day I'd be up fine and running but would wear down from excess fatigue near end of day. Very lethargic. The main downside is I had severe sexual side effects. It simply didn't work anymore. When it did I could not climax.

Stopped both on my own 2 days prior to 2 week follow up with doctor. Original doctor couldn't see me, saw another of his assistants (unknown credentials). Felt more at ease this time, explained problems and was prescribed Wellbutrin, given generic Bupropion HCL XL 150mg once a day.

Immediately depression worsened. Felt more down, more feelings of anger at coworkers. Almost suicidal "downs". Wanted to withdraw further from life. Pronounced feelings of wanting to harm others for 'being so stupid', contemplating how I could 'get away with it'. Took it for a full week trying to let it work itself out, but ultimately decided to stop taking 3 days ago, and now feel fine, sort of even, but I'm not sure how long it will last. Follow up with doctor is not for another 3 weeks and I'm not sure what I should do from here.

Is this normally how people treat their depression and psychological issues simply taking and trying new medicines? My insurance does not really cover psychotherapy. I believe I am only allowed like 8 visits and then its all out of pocket. So I never really considered that route. Also becoming frustrated with trying and taking new medicines, paying copays and burning through my limited resources as I live on my own and have no savings.

So far nobody knows I've sought out help or am on medication, and I'd like to keep it that way. Looking for options and advice please.