Thread: T Let Me Down
View Single Post
 
Old Nov 11, 2015, 09:21 AM
atisketatasket's Avatar
atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
Child of a lesser god
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,394
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyscraperMeow View Post
That's missing the point. It's not whether a T should be available 24/7. The answer to that is: of course not!

The point I was trying to make is that therapists wiggle their way into a client's psyche and place themselves in the closest ring of confidantes: ie, in the place the people who ARE available to us 24/7 are. My partner is available 24/7, so are my close friends.

Through the therapeutic relationship, therapists deliberately create (I would almost say demand) that level of trust and personal importance as well. In fact, so called 'good' therapy is apparently predicated on this relationship.

So when something terrible like a breakup happens, a client instinctively turns to the therapist - only to be rebuffed, because 'that's not appropriate'. The fantasy of the nurturing therapist, and the reality of a professional acting in an exchange of cash for services becomes blindingly clear in that moment.

I think this notion of dependence on a therapist is inherently toxic. There is no depending on a therapist, ever, and it should never be sold that way. That creates a tension between what a client naturally wants to do, and what the business relationship they're engaging in actually allows them to do.

Some people might argue that they can depend on their therapists, and maybe they can in some ways, sometimes, and for now. But this board is metaphorically littered with people who have been suddenly smacked in the nose with the fact that therapist isn't actually as close, or as connected as they might have been led to believe.

99% of the pain I've observed in therapy, reading this board, is people struggling, and usually failing to manage the cognitive dissonance that arises from what therapy pretends to be, and what it actually is.
And generally speaking, you are right and I agree. But it doesn't seem to apply in this situation - it sure sounded like the OP and her therapist had worked out something about support by text, not just in the current crisis but in previous ones, and that what was bothering the OP was an unexpected failure to respond by the therapist.
Thanks for this!
stopdog