Hi Hopefull and sabau2,

Thanks so much for the insights, you know it feels great to check a post and know that somebody cares. I really appreciate it. I really want to seek for professional help now but i'm kinda reluctant still coz i don't know , it's not easy to open things up with someone you don't know though it's a doctor, but i'll push myself with it coz i really need it badly. Yes, you're right there are a lot of things that we need somebody to help us and teach us how to get through it and there'll come a time that we can't figure it out by ourselves anymore. I wish i have somebody who will be there willing to listen to me coz all the people around me right now are busy with their own lives and i don't want to add to their burden anymore. That's why i'm thankful too to find you here. Thanks for having me and please don't turn your backs on me, I already feel been netrayed, leftout by my friends coz of this depression. Thanks so much