this is something that really bothers me. i used to be a spiritual person. for a while i even went completely new age, dabbled in wicca, buddhism & other practices. though i'm not completely sure i identify with that crowd anymore, i still want to pursue something spiritual. what, i don't know. the problem is, i have been very depressed for a long period of time without respite. this depression seems to make it almost impossible for me to experience anything spiritual. for example, when i meditate, i might as well just call it sitting with my eyes closed and looking at the blackness behind my eyelids. 'cause that's what it feels like. it's like i can't get into it. i always come out of the meditation unfulfilled and feeling like i wasted time or something. it's like that part of me that used to be so connected to the spiritual has died. what happened??