I do no wish for death nor do I fear it - I simply don't understand the reasons we react to it as we do. To answer your question about my life - I can neither say it has been horrible nor it has been good because I believe we all have problems and any emotional pain is significant n cannot truly be measured because everyone feels pain differently - even in the same circumstances. Some may flunk a test and feel its the end of the world - while to others it doesn't bother them in the slightest; then again that test may mean the first kid goes home to be abused - or he doesn't get into the school he wants - or he may just b extremely sensitive, n the other kid is jyst carefree about it all. So yes, I have had my fair amount of death, abuse, rape, violence, control, etc (reduced down to very general n simplistic terms) in my life - but was it horrible? Just bad? Not really that bad? Really kinda good? - It all depends on the scale of pain the person I am talking to received in their lives. To me - pain is simply that - pain. I hope I make sense in all I am saying to you?