that's what I was thinking... maybe this has been over for a while now. I hate the other side of me telling me that maybe itll be ok and we can work through it, maybe he really has an issue that he needs help with and I shouldn't just give up on him because after-all the grass isn't always greener on the other side and every relationship has its problems...its just a matter of what you're willing to work through...so I go back and forth with myself trying to weigh out the relationship and get a feel for how he handles it this time. I've pretty much gave him the ultimatum. If he doesn't fix this crap he's out of here. He can see that I haven't been the same since and can see that this time it has REALLY screwed things up like I warned him it would...but that voice in the back of my mind says "its been going on for a year now, if it was just a switch that he could turn off so easily, why didn't he turn it off before and how much time is going to pass before it happens again..." He hasn't done any research yet on counselors or therapists. and when I asked him about it he says he is "working it out on his own in his head".