Ok - being that my mind is just totally not comprehending at the moment - I will just simply give you a general outline of my life n let you decide. The numbers in parantheses on the left will b my approximate age at the time.

(1-11) picture perfect

(12-13) mom died n i blamed myself for her death n dad pulled himself away emotionally n stacked on a ton of responsibilities financially n housekeeping n would not help w schooling n made me stay up as late as 2am doing homework if i did not understand it

(14) dad remarried n i paid for rings, i was excited about marriage but instead abuse started, violin teacher tried to molest me

(15) abuse continues, got first boyfriend - he raped me but did not truly understand it to be rape just considered it another thing that wasn't necessarily what i wanted but part of life n felt he loved me so continued to b with him

(16) abuse continues, still with bf, (possible pregnancy but dad n i get in conflict resulting in a situation that may have been a miscarriage after 3mo), got first job where i was sexually harassed to the point i feared for my safet n when i reported it to my boss she spread around rumors amongst the employees

(17) abuse continues, decide the only way i will feel true unconditional love is to have a child - discuss thos with bf - he sees ot as free sex n agrees, i become pregnant, dad tries to convince me to abort when i m 3mo along - i refuse, then he says i will adopt it out - again, i refuse, at 7mo along bf tells me he been cheating on me 2mo n when i cannot forgive him in 2wks he calls everything off n says he does not want to know when child born n will not help me, i plan to use the $10k i have saved from ss funds n work to raise child - call bank, dad closed account n spent money, ask dad for money n he wont tell me where it is - i realize i have to find parents for my son n decide on his fraternal aunt n uncle

(18) have son n give him up for adoption, 3 mo later receive phone call to babysit him - end up spending the night there n wake to overhear them discussing who to give my child to bc they r divorcing (the adoption is not final yet) so i tell them i will find the parents - n search out new parents n find a friend of my step mom to take him in, 3mo later - raped at work,

(19) victim to armed robbery at work, in car accident n lost job due to no car which ultimately led to the liss of my home n dad would not help so had to move in w aunt cross country, raped again, father of child calls to tell me he is marrying the girl he cheated on me w bc she is pregnant w a boy n he wants to keep this one

(20) got in a very controlling relationship

(21-25) lived with a psychologically abusive man

(26) coma, emotional n physical abuse

(27-30) emotionally abusive relationship

(31) lived in homeless shelter

(31-41) severe psychological n emotional abuse - just starting to repair that

So that's been my life, you decide.