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nonightowl · Nov 11, 2015, 02:37 PM

I think a loss of this kind is still loss, also a type of "death" in itself.

I've had similar experiences: One so-called friend stopped talking to me, then out of the blue just called. My "gut" said to not return her call, but I did---wanting to give it another chance. (I ended up getting burned yet again) We USED to be good friends. Things were okay for about a year, then she disappeared again.

When I tried to contact her, she just kept saying she's "just been busy." BULL! If she a REAL friend, she'd MAKE time for me. But she was "busy". I decided **** her. I'm better off without any friends than a phony one or one who is a "friend" when it's convenient for her, like when she wants something.

I heard from her when she was unemployed, then when she got a job, she didn't have time for me. I don't mean run of the mill busy, like anyone can be. She couldn't/wouldn't give me literally a MINUTE of her time. What kind of a friend is that? How about just a 10 minute conversation to catch up? Or an e-mail?

I'll probably hear from her again in a few years, acting like nothing happened. And I won't reply this time.

For all she knows, I could be out on the street now. I mean, she never contacted me again, so how does she know?

Last year, a woman in this support group I was attending approached me after the meeting. She literally ran after me, asking if I'm okay.

It seems like there was potential for friendship there, as she said how she lives near me, etc. She invited me to her house almost right away, and she said stuff like how I could also visit her kitty as well as her.

Then, after a few months, she stopped returning my phone calls and e-mails. At first I thought something happened, but now this year is almost over. I'm sure it's on purpose, since this has happened before (with the above mentioned *****).

A "red flag" went up to me about her when I met her, though I couldn't put my finger on why. Now I know.....She also once mentioned something about talking to someone she thought she had a connection with, but it turned out not to be.

A "red flag" went up again. (I wish I had paid attention to it) In hindsight, she probably did the same thing to this person she did to me. Just dropped me like that.

I'm always on the lookout for new friends, even though it seems I always get burned or abandoned.

There's only 2 friends around now, but one is not close. The other is so far away, both physically (another state) and mentally (as he is depressed). They are both men.

I know this is a blanket statement, but it seems women do this kind of thing way more often. (At least in my world) It's like a woman will pretend she's your friend, but men don't usually. If they don't like you, you know it. I say a woman will stab you in the back, but a man will stab you in the front. By that I mean they are more straightforward or genuine, generally.

In light of all this, I say I'm better off without either of them. Neither of these women are "friends" and never were, not really.

Still, I grieved both of these losses, even though I didn't lose "much" so to speak. I know it's trite, but they lost MORE by abandoning ME. They could have a good friend and person in their lives, but they blew me off. So **** them both.

I could make "better" enemies.