I want to post about me but I'm also openly asking, so anyone please feel free to share about your therapists, too. But I seem to be under the wrong impression of what therapy is about, as my therapist has been explaining to me that it's his job to react to me genuinely, whether that is getting defensive or calling me out on things (in this case it was calling me a hypocrite), that therapy is tough sometimes and he "guarantees" that all therapists will eventually challenge you on behaviors and thoughts when they become apparent.

I guess I thought that therapists don't react like others in the "real world"...not that patients can go in there and be abusive or literally say whatever they want without repercussions. But I really didn't know that therapists will fight with you (i.e. saying "well if you can do it to me, why can't I do it to you? You have your set of rules for yourself but you expect others to follow different rules and you're going to run into a whole lot of problems with personal relationships being that way"). I'm not sure if I just don't like what I'm hearing so I'm taking it as personal attacks even though it's true, or if my therapist isn't using tactics that are helpful to me. He even went as far as to say that I stayed in an extremely tumultuous, often abusive environment growing up (as an adult, I did stay even after I turned 18) because I was part of the "dance" of the fighting, that most people even with anxiety will flee a toxic environment, but the fact that I didn't do that means I played a role in the toxicity.

And for those who have responded to me and advised I get out of this therapy situation and might be doing this I'm sorry...maybe I am doing exactly what he says I am, staying and playing a part in the fight. I keep going back because he's very convincing that I have these major problems that are coming out in therapy and he's only trying to help me recognize it. I keep feeling like I want to leave, but then he says that I can try to find a conflict-free therapist but he guarantees that eventually they all will call me out on my problematic behaviors.

So the original question, how have your therapists challenged you and has it been helpful? Have they been brutally honest that felt like attacks but were valid?