I'm comfortable enough with my mine now that he'll tell me his honest opinion, sometimes very bluntly. I don't remember him being quite as blunt in the past. So he won't hesitate to straight up tell me "Hey, you say you're done with dealing with your dysfunctional family dynamic but you keep going back to that toxic environment thinking something will change or you can control something by doing so."

He's never defensive, and never mean spirited though. And he doesn't put the blame on me ever--just has to keep telling me that I can control what happens to me and how I take care of myself. I've never felt attacked. It sounds like your T has tried to take on a role that isn't what a therapist is meant to do. I don't think it's helpful at all to tell a client that basically they need to fix their personality or they're going to have problems in relationships. And I certainly don't think saying "If you can do it to me, why can't I do it to you?" is helpful in the slightest way! That sounds so immature in my opinion. Even if he was saying that to a friend, it's beyond immature. There are more helpful ways to challenge a client and their behaviors.

Don't let him try to guilt you into changing. Guilt is no good. And as someone who has come from a tumultuous environment and is still a part of the "dance" even 200 some miles away as I'm about to graduate from college, don't you dare let him make you feel guilt or shame for that (and I mean that in a kind way). You had no role in it just because you stayed. I'm 2 and a half years into therapy and I'm still unlearning all of the dysfunctional thinking, and I still haven't taken any drastic measures to completely remove myself from it. My therapist would never in a million years place the blame on me though. I don't know you personally, but that makes me so mad that he would say that to you. Please, please know that you should not be blamed for that.

Anyway, this was long, but yes, I have been challenged quite a bit by my T. But no, they never felt like attacks. I would definitely find a new T, and know that they might call you out on behaviors, but they should never make you feel guilty for them. Challenged, but not guilty. It's a fine line (even though your T crossed it by 5 miles).