so many people (mainly family) say that i need to move on, forget the past, forget and forgive, whatever. these are people close to me, who have not dealt with the same things that i have, but know the jist of what i've gone through. many of these things happened to me in childhood and some of them i did not remember for 10+ years. they all say that i just focus on the past. which isn't true. i think about the present, and the future too. but the past haunts me. it seeps into my brain and sometimes i have no control over this. i am still dealing with these things. i say "it's not my fault that my past was so painful that i am still healing". but they still stand with me needing to forget. thing is, i have no idea how. especially when i have flashbacks out of nowhere and intrusive thoughts about what has happened. i am decent at fighting negative thoughts towards myself but sometimes it just feels out of my control. i only speak about these things if i am comfortable and only when i am having good realizations about them and want to share. i don't think i dwell on the outside. maybe on the inside sometimes but i do not see myself as able to forget any time soon. is it in my control? did/do you think about the past? what's too much? how did you get through this? how did/do you deal with being told to not focus on the past when you don't even feel that you truly do?
thank you, even for reading.