I agree that he needs to seek professional help if he hasn't already. As for you, life is just waytoo short to be in the situation you're in right now. You need to be with someone who cares and does want emotional and physical contact with you. I'm not trying to ignore his problems, but you have to think of yourself too.

I'm very sorry you have gone through everything you have, but you need to find something that does make you want to get out of bed every morning. Your life is certainly not over and you have to start living like that, because if you don't it will be before you can blink twice. That is how short life is and I hate anyone having to feel the way you do.

First step should definitely be to see if your partner actually wants to get help so that he can be a better partner for you and be happier in life. If he doesn't care enough to get help then you need to find someone who will be what you need in your life. Also, do you have pets? If not I really think that would be a good thing to look into, because they really do help a lot of people find more joy in life.

I wish you the very best, and I am glad you came here. We have a lot of great members who I am sure will do everything they can to help you through this.