I cant handle not cutting anymore. Well truth be told is I'm not handling life very well anymore. I'm such a **** up as a parent, daughter, sibling, aunty etc.

I don't have anyone irl except for kids. And my therapist. But it feels like shes trying to slowly leave me to. Or she's working with all of them against me. Its the only thing that helps me stay sane in this f***** up world of mine. Makes them stop yelling and from me giving up and giving in.

Maybe that's the best route. I just hate myself.