I had therapy today and the first thing my t told me (because I asked how he was) was that his mother is dying within the next couple of days. We talked about what happened, how he felt about his mom, etc. It was a very honest conversation and very heart to heart. We say often that we love each other and that was clear today in our conversation. He also said that he "didn't imagine he'd be telling many clients that the mother died," but we know and understand each other, so he felt okay about it. He was very clear that therapy was supposed to be about me not him, so after our conversation, we switched back to my "issues", but I went very soft on him today. I know he's hurting terribly and will be taking time off for the funeral, and I think he rearranged his schedule, so he could see me today before going out of town. I guess I have three questions.

First, was his disclosure and our conversation appropriate, or did it cross some boundary into being too personal/intimate?

Second, how long should I be gentle with him? This is hard for me because we've been making great progress, but I feel like this could be a setback.

Third, would it be appropriate for me to give him a sympathy note or something like it, or should I just pretend like nothing happened the next time I see him?

Thanks so much for your advice.