Dear Galadriel -- I understand your feelings of guilt. I agree with those who say that you have to do what is best for you. I found "friendships" with men very challenging to navigate during my younger years (when I was more attractive), and I found that there were few men who could accept that my idea of friendship did not include sex, nor sexual flirtation. Often, there would be the insistence, such as you encountered, that my answering something equivalent to a friendly email, as a gesture of friendship, constituted in the man's mind, a "flirtatious" behavior.

Online relationships with a man can be especially risky -- because it is difficult to know if the man is even telling the truth. Plus, it strikes me as possible that a predator -- and I don't even mean a predator who might act out a rape if one met in person -- but an emotional predator who likes emotional dominating, or getting positive strokes for the ego -- might find some of us on these forums "easy prey."

It is a place where people come for support and help from an online community; so we are vulnerable, and that includes vulnerable to the mental/emotional manipulations of a user.

If a man was establishing a genuine relationship with one in PMs outside the forum, one would still have to take in account that he came here to deal with his own issues, so now one will be dealing with one's issues plus his.

In short, I think you did the right thing. I think the guilt is probably a good sign. You didn't act to hurt anyone, but to save yourself; you're aware of the negative implications for the other people. That shows sensitivity and integrity.

Hope the guilt vanishes soon!