I was so happy to go to yesterday's session. I shared with T some personal thoughts regarding our therapeutic relationship and how I hold on to the connection I have to him.

I told him that I felt my attachment to him is healthier now and gave him some reasons why I felt that way. I also told him some feelings I have toward him like how funny he is and easy to talk to etc. He's a fun T and I can see that I need someone like him as a partner. My husband is quite the opposite of me since I am similar to T in personality.

Then it happened. He said 'you are appreciating the boundaries of our therapeutic relationship'... there it is that word "boundaries"...he knows this is a trigger word for me. I'm sure that is why he said it.

He then went into what happens when therapy boundaries are fuzzy and I got the whole 'gee I wish we could just sit here and chat but then this is no longer a therapeutic relationship'...

Here I am sharing personal thoughts and feelings that were so hard for me to share.

Why couldn't he just say whether he also feels the same connection I do? I wanted a meaningful special session like a few weeks ago when he said that he's here for me and I have him for support.

I've been down this road before and should know by now not to share my feelings. I'll remember that next time