oooh, I've been waiting for this post. You've come such a long way from not being able to deal with your relationship with him in the here-and-now.

In regards to your T stating that he feels the connection too-- I can't empathize with you enough. With my T disclosing the reciprocity of connection more than one time within the last couple of sessions (and I was afraid of this)-- now if he doesn't... things sort of fall apart.

Just be careful (I'm going into therapist mode here) when you state that you want him to say whether he has the "same" connection as you do. I know you probably wrote that unconciously, but I picked up on it because it's something that I have been thinking a lot about lately... and it's hard to come to terms with. I am starting to accept the fact that my T does feel a connection with me. I am working on finding out exactly what type of connection that is. However, I know it's not the "same" connection that I feel for him. It can't be. And that hurts like hell. But I think it's the 1st step towards a healthy attachment and connection... to realize that even though the connections can be reciprocal in the therapeutic relationship, they are individual as well. This is not a reason for you to think you should stop sharing your feelings. He shared his connection with you. That is not going to go away, even if it doesn't state it every week.

Anyway, sorry for getting all psychoanalytic on you. Just something to think about.