((Werewoman))),

I can so relate to this challenge because my husband has had this same advice and it has not been helpful to me. I want my husband to SUPPORT me, when something bad happens and I get severely triggered (like this morning because it was so bad this morning) I need my husband to validate the fact that I deserve to vent, that it's ok to struggle and he knows I AM TRYING.

Also, you are so right about the suicidal impulses, it's not being selfish, it's wanting the PAIN of it all to END. Struggling with PTSD is no CAKE WALK, it's exhausting, and at times very hard to manage. Everyone that struggles has a very hard time articulating it, wants to so badly though. And then there is this deep knowing that others are simply NOT going to understand it and at times will react in mean ways, insisting the suffer JUST in some way, when the sufferer wants so badly themselves to JUST. It's such a relief when someone else can relate offer support and comfort instead of some kind of JUDGEMENT OR JUST comment.

When I read your first post, I knew exactly what you were feeling because I have been there many times myself. These kind of cycles are VERY CHALLENGING AND LONELY and eventually, what the sufferer has to understand is that YES these dark cycles do take place but they also GO AWAY too. Sometimes it can last for an hour, sometimes the entire day and sometimes a few days, but, they do pass and that is when the sufferer can work on talking them out and often not everything can be articulated, and that is because of how the brain stores things in areas where there is no language.

I have had bad trigger cycles where I just can't talk, my words get slurred. I don't know why that happens, only that when that happens I need to step back and calm down because it ususally happens when I am overwhelmed. When someone struggles with PTSD, they are sensitive and can get overwhelmed and struggle, that is why those who struggle AVOID. And it's not intentional avoiding either, often it is on such a deep subconscious level that it's not so much a conscious choice as the average person would think.

Patience is so important and you are right Werewoman, it's actually surprising how much one can live through and gain in spite of the PTSD. Always keep in mind PTSD is "heightened sense of awareness". It's like being able to hear a pin drop where no one else around you can hear it. It takes time to adjust to that kind of awareness.