Quote:
Originally Posted by Softballjunkie8
Ya the only thing that has kept me from totally not believing him is he did tell me about her and let me read the messages. I have been thinking long and hard about the last week and I think he has been sending me "Signals" for a few months. He mentioned he needed "me" time about 3 months ago. I have been so wrapped up in my own grief about my father passing I think I might have been neglecting his emotions.
I think he also might be a tad depressed. I know that doesn't justify everything but he sometimes he mentions he's sad...I ask him why and he downplays it.
I know we need counseling but he is totally against any kind of therapy/counseling. I have asked why before and he told me that he can handle his problems on his own.
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Maybe he'd appreciate hearing that... that you've been thinking long and hard about the last week and you think you might have been neglecting his emotions, missing his "signals" because you've been so wrapped up in your own grief about your father's passing. Consider identifying this women/texting as a "symptom" and reference that good long talk you had not long ago about working on the relationship (you felt good and hopeful!). Bring the focus, and energy, back to the life you two have together, the love. You've known this guy since you were 15. If those years of experience tell you he deserves the benefit of the doubt, give it to him and tell him that. Also good to reiterate your own fragile emotional state and you need him to be more sensitive to your needs too.
You're in the middle of some big emotional stuff - be kind to yourself. I don't know how this is going to go for you. I do know that there's a lot to be said for knowing you did/are doing everything you can for the relationship.
