Yes, DechanDawa, the response you describe is very common. It has certainly happened to me. And people who might be a bit supportive the first time or two that you call them will tend to get less and less supportive. That can feel heart breaking. Believe me, I know.

One time I was on the phone to my sister after going through a rough experience that had me depressed. She said "Use your coping skills." and made it clear she was ending the conversation. I thought that was a miserable thing to say, and I will never again call her, if I am depressed. She's actually a pretty nice person, and we get along fine now. I just know to never contact her, if I am depressed. I have a girlfriend who I've known for years. We often go out together for lunch or dinner. She's lots of fun and I enjoy her company. BUT . . . I've learned to never, ever call her when I am really down. She will manage to say the very last thing I need to hear.

Sometimes, people who know you well think they are being helpful by telling you how you may have helped create your own unhappiness. It's the last thing you need friends or family to talk about when you are coping with depression, but it's often where they will go. Hearing inane stuff, like "Go get a kitty-cat." isn't the worst. But it's not helpful . . . I agree.

I got a chance to be on the other end of this, when a friend of mine who'ld moved out of state started calling me everytime something went wrong in her life. Things were going really badly for her, and she seemed to be in real danger of a major breakdown. For a while, I did my best to be as supportive as possible. The nicer I was, he more she called me. She seemed to be not making progress with her difficulties. It started to seem like I was playing amateur therapist, and it started to really wear me out. Plus, though she was a really nice person, the conversations seemed to be all about me validating her. I felt like I was trying to meet her emotional needs, and that was getting to be a one-way street. We drifted apart, and I'm kind of glad I no longer hear much from her.

A wise, mature therapist once told me that, "if you want someone to keep listening to your troubles, you kind of have to pay someone to do that."

You know, I agree that, if we had close friends and family who were really good at helping with depression, we might not be so depressed in the first place. That's kind of a special gift that not many people have. And those who do really only want to use it on their immediate loved ones - their spouse or child. My own mother - a very nice person - was supportive of my father in his struggles with depression. But not so much with me. She basically told me to grow up. So I knew never to call her for that.

I do hear you.