I'm sorry that I'll be writing my story here again.
I'm at work alone with no one to call, nothing to take to calm my nerve down, it's just that it'd be too much for me to start a new thread in self injury. I can't type well on kindle. This is a bit of warning for you readers, I'm helpless and some could say that my mind is racing, well, I'm saying that.
Possible trigger:
So only an hour into the work shift, I started to cut, there's no hate or anything, sometimes you just know what your body wants. I needed to draw blood, 3,4 bigger ones, with no hesitations at all, later I realized I did a bit much, I had to lick it. I'm no scientist but I know the feedback that I'm lacking is because of my body chemicals, in both the brain and the body. My mind is in turmoil and of course it can't give me any physical feedback, but absolutely no pain with this much blood?
This is just weird. There has been no external factor to trigger my behavior today so far, I got hours and hours left on my shift and I know my mind is craving for the visual, if not pain..
I'll try to read, focus on my work, I know I'm still in public eyes so to speak. It's so tucked up but I wanna taste my own blood more.