I am very sorry for your pain. It is so difficult when we want love and a close relationship with family members and they do not reciprocate. It is such a deep, unresolved pain. The reasons why your father treats you the way he does could be something subconscious on his part. It would be nice if he were a little more enlightened, but obviously he is not. He doesn't seem to really have a clue. Parents are not supposed to have favorites but the truth is, they do. I was not my mother or my father's favorite. My mother treated my sisters-in-law more like daughters than she did me. I never found out why, exactly. It is something that haunts you. My parents are now both dead. It is up to me to undo the damage they caused by playing favorites. It is very destructive, even after they are gone as some siblings will get more inheritance, act superior etc. All I can say is you are not alone. The more people you talk to about this the more you will find other people who have had similar toxic situations. In truth, not many families are nurturing, and more than not they tend to be toxic. Love who deserves to be loved, and try to forgive those who can't love you whole-heartedly-- but really --- they aren't deserving -- because of causing you so much pain. Let go, (easier said than done) maybe a little bit at a time...and know you are worthy of all the love in the world.