I'm curious.

If there were SO many years of separation, between childhood crush and actually getting together during adulthood, 22 years if I remember correctly....

Then how are you SO sure he was a sweet, kind loving person?

What if this behaviour is what lead to his first marriage failing? Or did I miss the part where you say his wife died?
Because I do remember you saying he was married with a child when you were 15...

What if the man you married has always been mean, manipulative and abusive, what then?

IDK, head injuries, concussions, brain lesions, it all sounds like trying to justify abusive behaviour from a man you barely know.