About the age that you are, I finally decided to cut ties with my narcissist mother and yes, I felt guilty, but no, I didn't allow that to make me change my mind. Parents are supposed to love and nurture their children and the ones who don't usually do end up alone in their last years. So be it, as we all can make the right choices, if we want to.
The abuse that these parents cause lasts a lifetime. I doubt I will ever forgive her, even though she is dead, he words still ring in my ears almost daily! Big hug.