Quote:
Originally Posted by rcat
HOWEVER,
any therapist worth a grain of salt would not allow that to happen. You are supposed to be there to discuss how as a family to deal with and support your spouse. Your therapist should keep the session focused to just that. If your MIL wishes to bring up stuff personal to you, your therapist I don't think is even allowed to take the discussion there unless they have an indication from you that you are okay with it.
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Thank you for what you said. You're exactly right, the focus needs to be on my Husband's seizure and how that has impacted him and our family. I understand the Counselor wants to know our past histories because this could dictate how we react to future situations.
If you will permit me, I would like to share an epiphany with you and everyone I just had.
For my entire life, I've had this need to be heard and understood. Heck, I've confronted Bosses, Co-workers and Family Members. When I'm not feeling heard or understood, I buckle down and put up walls. Often thinking to myself, "This is my lot.... No one will ever understand me."
Up until a moment ago, I thought there must be something wrong with me. It's true, I grew up in a dysfunctional home and my need to be heard might be greater than someone else's, but that does not mean there is something wrong with me. We all need to be heard and validated!
I just read an article that stated, "90% of all people feel misunderstood and not heard." Reading this, gave me validation and understanding. My need to be heard, our need to be heard is a survival need. Without it we can feel lost and betrayed.
Understanding this need helps me understand my MIL and FIL's motivations. They also grew-up in dysfunctional homes and their need to be heard is great, like mine. I am grateful for this understanding! Going forward I will work on being a better active listener. My want to be heard by them, is not so great anymore. I think I'm ready to move forward in a more productive way.
