i have depression and anxiety which i deal with every day. i lost my sister in 97. i was 21 and she was 24. i still have a hard time with it. my mother is an alcoholic and was before my sister died. i tried for about 11yrs to help her. i never could. i want to say that i am proud of you for trying to get better. that to me is a big step. i want to say that i am here for you 100% and i am proud. you are not a failure if you relapse. you are trying and that matters. dealing with death is so hard. i wish my mother would get help. she wont even admit she has a problem. you are not a failure and you will succeed.