Hello ilovebacon: I'd have to admit that I agree with your husband... & with that honest part of you that you mentioned at the end of your Thread. I used to know a person who liked to say: "If you want to know where the bullet is going to go, look down the barrel of the gun." From what you wrote, it sounds as though you've been around the block with your dad enough to know where things are headed.

From my perspective, ultimately each of us has to take responsibility for ourselves. And if we will not, or even if we cannot, at some point those around us must do whatever it is they need to do to protect themselves. So, from my perspective, it is time for you to do what you need to do to protect yourself, your relationship with your husband, & perhaps most important, your children. I wish you well as you continue to struggle with this difficult situation.