I can't go back on campus, they won't let me live there anymore! I can't handle this, I have to live at home, and that thought makes me want to die, it's so hopeless there. We talked forever trying to come up with ways to make it better, even with my dad there there were no answers. The only way I'm able to consider surviving now is that I'll still be able to commute to school, but not living on campus is so horrible I can't bear it. And I was going to go into the hospital, but there's no room, so I have to go home, and that's the last place I want to be. I have to push through this night, and then go inpatient tomorrow, there's no way I can handle this weekend.

I really thought they'd let me live on campus still, the od had so much to do with the medicine, but they're just not confident enough in that to "risk" it. Thank God they're confident enough I'm responsible enough after showing them how I look for help that they're letting me continue the schoolwork. But I'm not ready to deal with this, I left home this morning thinking I'd be moving back in my dorm room, and I'm not, and I hate the thought of having to go back home overnight.

But I have to go, so I'll write more later.