Hi Don't Want....I am so sad for you. I have to admit, I had some similar experiences with my mother. She loved to ridicule, make fun of me and hit me too! My sister did not have it quite as bad but we have not got any good memories of our mother, and few of our father.
Got to let you know I have turned out to be secure about myself, or confident I should say and I am a giving an loving person. None of which I can say I got from my parents. I was fortunate to have grandparents that adored me and some really good friends.
Being bullied everyday has got to make you sick inside. I can not imagine the pain you have felt.
From what you wrote I am thinking you still have the courage to trust if you find someone worth trusting or opening up to. I hope that is true. It may be your only way into a loving and peaceful life, family etc.
I hurt reading your post and don't have much to say about all you have gone through except like I said you sound like you have courage, and confidence.
I hope you do and I really wish you the very best. If you ever need to talk you can send me a private message and I will be glad to answer you back. Hold your head up high!!! Know how great you are!!!