Did I sound like I have courage and confidence?
I feel more like I'm just trying something new out of desperation, not like I have anything to loose here and I know worse things than possible negative replies I could receive here on a forum, so there's barely any use in holding back unless I feel too ashamed of something.

That aside, I'm not sure how to say this, but it's good that I received an understanding reply. I expected to either not get a reply at all or just receive some hate-replies, which would have been fine because I keep feeling like everyone would hate me if they knew a bit about me. I'm curious if it's really like that or if its a baseless thought I think as a result of my past.

...I actually don't feel like I want a family, things like that would be way too much for me to handle and I need my distance too, a lot of it at times, even online. I can just barely take care of myself. I'm actually not sure what it is I need or want, thinking about it... it's a bit depressing and I feel like it's just impossible with my personality to lead an acceptable life.
Honestly I have no idea what to actually do that might be good for me. And I'm really not one to get into the whole clinic and medication stuff.