Sounds like my father to a good extent. Mine quit drinking years ago and that's all he had to do as well. There are no amends to us 3 kids, he does not make an effort toward his 6 grandchildren, and he mentioned to my sister that my brother was the one who was mean...in a certain situation. Really? No dad, it was you and never would my brother do what you did. (not worth the gory details just now)

I have no clue as to why dad is this way. He's in FL, in decent enough health for now as he just finished a few months of chemo for bladder cancer. I call him every month or so. I don't know if I'll get to see him before he passes. I'm not sure if I want to.

I do know the tough spot you are in! I think I owe it to myself and my children to take care of myself. It's been many hurtful years of his doing. I was a little hurt kid and now a hurt grown kid. He is just that way. At 83.5 I doubt he will change.

Sending you well wishes...do what feels right for you.