Good choice to not suicide. Work on not even entertaining the thought, don't post the word or write it or think it but block it with "No!" or "Not now!"

The more I study the brain, and the newest brain science, the more I am convinced of what I believe and read in The Book... however, the science is real regardless of whether one believes in God or not.

Your brain has no opinion of it's own.
Depression, regardless of the cause, can be relieved and even dispensed with by retraining the brain.

Because the brain has no opinion of it's own, it gets it's information from YOU, your mind --what you think and tell yourself (and what you listen to from others).

The brain creates chemicals for the body in response to what it has been told.

Easy enough so far, right?

To have the brain correct the chemicals... we need to correct our thinking and give the brain positive, good thoughts! (Truly mind over matter! but in a different mind set than what we used to think about "psychosomatic"!!!) It's a good thing!!!

"They" (the experts) used to think that a negative thought needed to be changed within 30 seconds but now they have realized that we have 48 hours to counter and change a negative input to the brain to make it a positive one. (Negative input creates actual physical toxic "tree like" pathways...of dead brain cells. Positive renews these and builds healthy "trees".)

It takes a whole lot longer to change the negative than it does to make it though. But by spending 7 minutes a day on good, positive thoughts, happy thinking, imaginations of future good etc... for 21 days you WILL see good results.

To permanently change out the bad with the good it takes 3 cycles of 21 days each... but a small price to pay rather than be depressed the rest of our lives, right?

Dr Caroline Leaf has studied this stuff for 30 years and these latest findings are since the last 2-3 years, even this year finding! Dr Martin Seligman is a forerunner of the positive thinking to remove depression, as well. ((I was in one of his studies).

You can find relief. IMO it is God Who created our marvelous brains to function this way, and to be controlled by our thinking. It's just so easy to be negative and appears tougher to be positive, but we can change that too!

Good wishes. Think LIFE! Think a good, happy life in near future!