it's been affecting me bad as well. depression's always there, but in the fall & winter months it's always worse. i hate when it gets darker earlier, and then it's cold and the trees grow bare, which makes me feel like everything is barren. i can't afford the special lights either, but i've never thought of taking vitamin d pills. i may give that a try. i've been getting steadily depressed since the change of seasons, and i do not see this ending well for me if i don't find something that works.