Grateful is right, no one understands this like SIers do. I too know how you feel about the fear of one day giving in. I haven't cut for nearly two years now and I still have that fear. I also still get almost unbearable cravings and I often wonder if my love for SI will ever stop. But it does get better. I don't think about it every day anymore and it isn't always the first thing that comes to mind when I'm stressed. So even if it doesn't go away, most days it is easier (even though there are still a tough few every now and then). Please remember that there is always someone here to talk to and you are never alone in going through this. As hard as it is realizing that almost no one around you understands, we do, and we SIers (past and present) will always be here to help out.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))