Skeez and JD, thank you so much for your replies. I did not get as many responses as I would have liked, and I can only guess that that is because either nobody has the same beliefs as those I posted, or nobody wants to talk that much about suicidal feelings and ideations. That is why your responses me so much to me.

JD, back in May right before I was hospitalized for mania, I checked out 9 self help books from the library. Some of them were incredibly helpful. I looked into one of them called Hardwiring Happiness. Its biggest point is that we should spent several minutes several times a day looking back on our happiest times and really let the emotion sink in. His theory is that in this way, we are training ourselves to concentrate much more on positive feeling rather than negative ones and therefore build a neural pathway strengthening our positive feeling.

I do try this method, but it can be difficult because I also have a long of negative feelings associated with my happiest times. For example so many of my best times were spent with my two best friends who for 4 years were also my roommates. Since they are a couple, they asked me to move out when they were ready to get married.
After moving out 2 and a half years ago, I have only seen them once and only gotten phone calls on my birthday. They basically dropped me. I may never know why, but I'm guessing it is because they had to put me in the hospital so many times and see me go through so many depressions. Now, when I think of the wonderful birthdays and Christmases I spent with them, those feelings are associate with the feeling of abandonment.

Thank you so much for the good advice.