I fear this may turn into a book. My wife of twenty one years left me about a month ago, telling me she fell out of love and doesn't know me anymore. Now the back story: five years ago I had emergency spinal surgery. That one day cost me everything. My career. My company, my homr, and my cars. I fell into depression and didn't even know it. I turned all of my emotions inward and became a very angry person. 2 days after she left me . An old friend showed up with my wife in tow and stopped me from pulling the trigger. My wife then say with me all night until I finally passed out at 5am. I have sense been diagnosed with severe depression and an starting to see a therapist. My wife has been diagnosed with moderate depression. I spent 15 hours sifting through the crap in my head and realized what I had done and decided there really isn't anything I can do about it and literally changed everything about myself. I'm no longer angry and shut down, but she is. I begged her to come home and try to work this out, which she did. I keep talking about all of our problems trying to get them out in the open to the point where it is pushing us apart. There is no affection from her. No intimacy what so ever. So I have 3 questions; #1 has anyone been through something like this and successfully saved their marriage? #2 how can I encourage her out of this **** down state? And #3 this change I have made in myself in response to this only temporary, and how do I make it permanent? Thank you for your help in advance.