i need alot of help...this is long but please bear with me...contains abuse so be careful!!!

my stepfather is very controlling...manipulative....and abusive....and so is my mom....to help you understand how controlling they are ...they threw me out of the house then when i finally got set up with a good family they literally distroyed each family member i was staying with (not physically, lets just say killing them with kindness is sorta an understatement with them) and when i had nothing left they called the police saying i was a runaway...and hired a lawyer saying i damaged private property....then when i told them i would do exactly what they say (did someone say blackmail?) they called off the lawyer and the police... If I threatened to tell of their abuse they would call my marine bf 20 times in a row and threaten to have him demoted because he slept with a minor ..i was 17 he was 20 and would only stop until i obeyed every word....well i finally moved across the country to get away from them...now they cant do it because i am over the age...well they found me and tracked me down....my future in laws know my parents want nothing to do with me...so now my stepfather is calling the house...and if i do not force myself to talk with this man on a weekly basis he will have talked to my future in laws and did the exact same thing he did with the last family...he will tell all of my secerts...not that i exactly have secerts mind you...but if my future in laws know i SI they would no longer accept me...believe me...anyway...so if my bf and i do not do as he says he will come across the country (believe me he almost did once...he has the money and the time) to california...bang on our door be let in and well we can all say goodbye to that...so my bf told me that i must do as he says ...to "Take one for the team" He said he will not stand for me to be selfish just so my stepfather can come into this house and cause alot of crap...i asked about harrassment and all of that cuz he used to be a police officer....and he said techenquically (dont we all hate that word..it always seems to pop up when we want to defend ourselves) he has the right to call the house phone unless he starts threatening (my stepfather is cunning...not stupid) he also said that if he comes here it is pretty much a guarentee that his family will let him in due to the fact that he is now apart of my family...what they dont understand is ...family in my life is not family....and they just dont get that ...for some reason people who never have been abused who have strong close knit families cannot fathom the fact that just because a person has a child doesnt mean that person has to love the child...i dont know...how can he say that i should chat with my abuser every week just so he doesnt get mad and involve my bfs family...and my bf is angry at me for putting his family through this...and he knew ahead of time about my stepfather and my family...he is so worried about protecting his family...he doesnt know what he is asking me...he said what is the worst he can do since your across the country...im all sure you guys all have the shake your head heard that before kinda comment...whats the worst he can do? How about i have an idea but id rather not find out...what do i do? how can i do this to myself and my already messed up sanity ....but perhaps i have to do it....and its all thanks to those horrible peoplefinders.com....any help would be greatly appreciated!!!! Im so upset!!!