Boy, you don't need a guilt trip . Nobody wants all this. We want to be happy, well and free. We would of course love it if others were too. But oh my goodness I don't like what was said. I had ITP a scary blood disorder and had to go through chemo three times, have surgery and transfusions . Fortunately my blood work is good now but the emotional suffering I go through scares me too. Things happen , to the good and to the not so great. No punishment it is just a fallen world and there are sicknesses in it. Hope you improve and do well.