As I've posted in another thread (I have no clue which one at the moment) my son, his wife and two small children live with me and our dogs. Today they left to go spend some time with friends watching the ballgame. My daughter lived across the street until she was evicted earlier this week and has moved...not where she wants to be but where her and her children have a roof over their heads.

Over the 12 years we have lived here, I've been home alone quite a bit and most the time cherished the quiet time to enjoy watching shows or just doing whatever came to mind...but tonight, I feel so alone and lonely, all I want to do is cry.

This round with depression is the worst I've ever experienced. I wish I had not lost my job a year ago and had to stop taking my meds because without insurance, I couldn't afford them and although I have been put on prozac its only been two weeks and I know it takes 6-8 weeks to really get the full effect. It just seems I would be feeling some little relief now. Nothing really makes me smile anymore, I see more hopelessness than hope, I want to believe things will get better....and I just can't now. I'm just not sure I have it in me to fight my way out of it this time....at this moment in time, I don't really know anything anymore....