Quote:
Originally Posted by RxQueen875
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and he's never had a problem with my MI. I always felt I could speak my mind with him. I lost my job last March because of a panic attack so bad that I blacked out. The thought of going back to work makes me anxious. My pdoc said he considers me handicap and that I shouldn't be working. Well money is tight but my bf has always been understanding. The other day I brought up work and the option of SSDI. I put my hand to my chest and said "I'm getting anxious thiNking about it". He yelled and said "I'm sick of this anxiety crap! Get over it and move on!". I was totally caught off guard. He never yells. It frightened me. I just stayed quiet and didn't bring it up again. But now I feel like I have no support from anyone now. I feel like I can't talk to him and he seems like he couldn't care less.
Well tonight while at the pet store, I picked up an application. I was really excited because it seems to be a low stress place and I love working with animals. I'm 28 so for some, a pet store may be considered a highschool job. But to me, it's a miracle I even find excitement in working here at all. So when I got home I called my dad. Big mistake. My dad is very money hungry and he bases everyone else by how much money they make. So he shot down the idea immediately and here I am crying. My bf is just sitting next to me ignoring me. So now im pissed and crying.
Does anyone's else's SO's seem to get sick of your MI and the drama that comes with it? I can't help but to blame myself for bringing on drama. Is this my fault? Do I have to live my whole life keeping my illnesses, feelings and my struggles to myself?
Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN
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Ok - first, yes it is common for significant others, family and friends to be unsupportive and think that it is something you can just "get over". Have you ever had him talk to your counselor so he can understand your illness better? If so, his behavior is completely unacceptable. It may be he is under a lot of stress himself and sometimes that causes us to lash out on the ones we love most-you may want to talk to him to find out if this could be the case (if you decide to do this, tread lightly). The fact that his behavior is causing you more emotional distress could also equate to abuse - depending on his reasons and methods and pattern (I don't know enough to say one way or another on that). You should be proud of yourself for getting out and looking for a job - any job. If the job isn't "good enough" for your dad or your bf - perhaps you should rethink what kind of relationship you truly want with them-as to what boundaries and etc, because it sounds to me like you don't really need that kind of judgementalism that close to you. Right now is the time you need to be able to concentrate on you. Find out what you want. What you can and cannot do and still be healthy. What it is that makes you happy. After you discover those things and make out a plan and start working on that plan-then you can start worrying about others if you like. Word of caution though: never, and I mean NEVER let anyone tell you who you are, what you can or can't do or where you are or aren't going - you are in control of you and your life and your happiness, nobody else. If anyone tries - just let them know you are in control, not them and go on about your way. If your boyfriend and dad truly love you - they will stick by you through all the changes and all the ups and downs, if they falter - like I said before, redefine your relationship with them. I hope what I said makes sense to you and helps *hugs*