Thought I'd just blog my rubbish day. I've been trying to reel things back in with my eating. Since starting Prozac my eating suddenly took a turn for the worse. I lost all my energy with Prozac; couldn't keep my eyes open and everything felt/feels like a chore. But I can't seem to fall asleep easily-and when I do sleep, I have night sweats. Night sweats make it difficult for me to eat because I see them as my bodies way of getting rid of excess calories and I have eaten to much so eating the next day feels very difficult even if my weight has dropped, even if I am very hungry. I manage but it's so hard to keep doing that.
Then my cooker died. It was covered by a warranty but took weeks for the company to get itself sorted out and replace it, I had to change how I ate and struggled with this too, it made it feel a bit too scary every time I ate something because for many of the reasons listed above it scared me and felt like I should not have eaten.

I was on 3-4 bulimia free days a week, now I'm down to 1 and it feels like I've lost everything. I feel really rubbish and today I thought I was OK but after eating lunch despite not feeling hungry (I'd missed breakfast because I'd slept in so was going to make sure I got lunch) I freaked myself out, felt fat and it turned into a bulimic episode.

So I've been trying to fix things this evening. I ate my evening meal. I have kept it down and it's now 4 hours later. I feel fat. I feel disgusted with myself and I feel worried about going to bed in case I get another night sweat.

Hoping for better tomorrow!