In 2012 i remarried a man that i knew as a teenager and ended my marriage of 32 years to the father of my six sons. My first marriage was an abusive one for over 20 years and so i think it needed to end all though it was extremely difficult for me to pull myself out of that relationship, the hardest thing i have ever done. My grown sons supported me in my decision. My new husband lives in Canada and it was so hard for me to move there away from my children and grandchildren. He promised me i would be his queen and he would love me.
As soon as i moved here things started to change, i found out that he is a workaholic, he lives and breathes working. I found myself alone most of the time or out working with him doing what i would consider mans work. He would not buy me a cell phone to keep in touch with my kids, he would not take me out on date nights. I live in his 92 year old mothers basement and have done for the last 3 years while he saves money to build a home. Its a huge house for the two of us and its taking every bit of time and money he has. Now i think its wonderful to get a new house but what concerns me is that he totally neglects me. He is not interested in my feelings, especially if i want to talk about our relationship and the things that i feel need to change for me to be able to survive here. He will not communicate with me he refuses to, all though he will say something hurtful and treats me like a child and is very rude and uncaring. He says its because i "stir the pot " when all i am trying to do is tell him how i feel. I have sacrificed everything for this man and all i want from him is to care about my feelings and take me seriously. I havent been able to work here for the last three years because of immigration stuff so i have had to be completely dependent on him, he is so stingy with his money and i have to pretty much stand at the judgement bar a few times a year and explain where the money has gone. I try not to spend much and feel guilty if i go to subway or take myself out because he refuses to take me out even though i all but bet him to take me out now and again. For the most part i am alone and just do my own thing, i moved here to be loved and have a huband. He is sweet and kind as long as i never open my mouth, he does not care about my feelings and its so evident. Its basically been three going on four years of hell. He has not had to sacrifice much to marry me, his life is pretty much going on as normal with his 92 year old mum upstairs and his 54 year old handicapped brother. Anytime we go anywhere we have to take them with us, if we had a normal marriage where we did things alone i wouldnt care but i dont even feel married to him. Last night just made me realize that if i stay in this marriage i am to have no say or have any problems, He refuses to deal with that stuff. I have to take myself out of my comfort zone to move here for him, i even try to help him build the house just so he knows i am trying. He can get very rude to me if i am trying to explain things, he mocks me. I told him that if he is going to stay married to me he has to learn and want to communicate with me to some extent even if he just tells me he loves me and hugs me, that would be something. I feel like i am in this marriage totally alone physically and emotionally. I left my first marriage penniless its not like i can just take off and invade my kids homes. I dont know what to do. he tells me he loves me but i dont think he does, he just wants me to be quiet and give him no CRAP as he puts it. I do love him and i wish he loved me. I have bad anxiety issues and he actually makes me physically sick because i get very nervous and get a lot of wierd body pain when im stressed and nervous. Last night i kept asking him a question and he refused to answer me , just silence he does that to me alot. I am so sick and tired of it. He is fairweather husband i think. I need a husband sorry its so long. I am at my witts end with him