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Old Nov 15, 2015, 06:28 AM
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CherryBerry9339 CherryBerry9339 is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 81
For the past few months especially, I've been really down. At first it wasn't too bad, but as time goes by I find myself kind of getting worse in a way. I don't really want to go into too much detail, because that would be a lot to explain. But as time goes by, the more I feel that no one really cares about me. I've expressed my thoughts and feelings to my mother, a teacher, and a bit to the school counselor. My mother was kind at first, but just tells me to ignore things or brushes me off. The teacher promised to sort out one of the issues (since it was school related). The counselor wanted to set up a weekly meeting with me, after saying she was concerned that I may be depressed. We never got to set up a meeting. There were times where she promised she would grab me to talk, but she never did. She's always busy, so I can never get in to talk to her. At first I thought I would be fine with trying to push things away and cope by myself..But I'm just getting worse. I'm at a point where literally everything is so exhausting and tasking. I have extreme difficulty falling asleep and waking up. I'm always tired, and just want to sleep but rarely really can. Talking to people is something I try to avoid now. I just can't feel bothered to deal with anyone. Most times I don't even want to speak to my own mother. I just want to avoid everyone, partly because I don't have the energy, partly because I know most really don't care. I know that for a fact, it's not just some silly thought. It's getting harder to even type or write how I feel. I feel like I'm taking part in self pity and I just get so annoyed and frustrated with myself for being unhappy. It's so hard to be happy. I can't really enjoy anything anymore. Hobbies and interests are basically non existent, and I don't have the energy to change it. My avoidance of people obviously isn't good, considering I know I should talk to someone. I'm just not sure if I can even do that now.
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