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I have a different POV than most of the others who responded. IMHO, he is wrong. He is putting what he wants ahead of you. He wanted s e x when you were still not physically recovered from giving birth and you tired to give it to him. It still hurts, yet you continue to try. You even offered to "take care" of him by hand. He asks you to assume positions that make you uncomfortable while he masturbates. I'm going to be graphic. Seems like he is substituting a warm body for images on the computer. From what you posted it sounds like it's all about what he wants, you're wants/needs are ignored.
My own experiences might be affecting my POV, but I don't think so. My husband was abusive. He stopped touching me and resorted to online porn. I tried to make myself available to him. He ignored me and focused on the porn. What really hurt was that the women he looked at on line looked like me. Hell, yes it felt like cheating to me!
Would he be willing to go for couples counseling to find a solution that works for both of you?
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