I'm sorry you're hurting, but I don't see it as a big deal. I know my husband watches porn, hell, I watch it too. I found out my husband reads robot porn recently, which I think is hilarious. Much like the flash novels I used to read about certain bands. I don't see it as a problem, but to each their own. I'm on a bunch of meds that decrease my libido, so I don't mind my husband taking care of himself, especially in the morning when I'm half asleep. Me and my husband are happy and in a loving, committed relationship. I know he won't cheat on me and I won't cheat on him. No harm in watching porn, sometimes we even watch it together. Maybe you can watch it with him.