My story is about having delusions of wealth.

During my first mania in 2008, I was convinced that I had heaps of money on the way. I was really into The Secret & manifestation of things desired. I believed whole-heartedly that when I chose to buy something, the money would magically be deposited into my bank account.

In reality I had no money of my own. I hadn't had a job for two years and was living off of my parent's money who could only give me the bare minimum of what I needed to live.

When I am manic I am incredibly convincing. People tend to believe whatever I tell them because I am so adamant and genuine and full of conviction.

One night I was walking down Hollywood Blvd. and I noticed a makeup store call Napolean Perdis. Loving makeup as I do, I went inside, took a quick look around, and asked the two salesgirls to wrap me up one of everything in the store. They absolutely bought it because I truly believed that I had enough money in my account to pay for it.

I went outside and waited for them to pack everything up. I was actually sitting on the sidewalk leaning against the wall with my legs splayed out. A young girl came up to me and told me that my earrings were pretty. I promptly took the hoops out of my ears and gave them to her.

When the salesgirl called me in I went up to the register to pay for my things. My card was declined. They ran it a total of 4 times and it was declined. I said thank you and told them I would return with the money. They just looked at me with horror.

Over the years when I had a little money here and there I would buy as much makeup and nail polish I could afford. During two manias I gave away half my makeup to friends and at one point threw away my entire nail polish collection of about 80 nail polishes.

So, yeah. It's almost a blessing that I've never had any money because I would have blown it all.