I don't have friends I can see, people expect me to go and see them, but I can't living here I'm always having not enough money some days and I'll be working for no end goal other than just having it taken away or I'm never having any means of transportation. People drop me all the time, now since 2 years now I've been not talking to people, people don't ask me how I'm doing, people don't keep up with me like others do for them people don't do ****.

It's like I'm always talking to a wall when I do put a lot initiative they are always unresponsive so I stopped and no surprise when I did a long while ago they didn't bother to know what's going on either. People are always busy life is too short to push everyone away, but it's that I have no choice in this matter anyways no matter I can make a 100 possible friends, but I may not even get one out of it even if I do I usually stop talking to them period.

On my worst days like today, I'd rather do drugs or not eat for a long time to control my situation. I don't feel anyone cares and they don't show it and it's like I'm just another person to ignore.

I did all I could and it's never working and people don't care.

I wouldn't be making this up if it wasn't real. Don't say it's perceived or anything.

**** I have a harder time being friends with anyone period. You just dont' know.