((WillowWolf)),

I only had to read about the challenge you had helping your mother with the computer and her getting frustrated and then she blows up at you. It sounds to me like your mother may have some PTSD issues herself that is undiagnosed. She has such a short fuse, and you feel nothing you do is right because she really doesn't understand how to ask for help, that is typical of people who struggle with PTSD symptoms. If your father is abusive and she left him, she probably left him because he was abusing her.

What your mother is saying by her behavior is that when you sit at the computer and show her, she is not following and remembering what you are showing her. If you stand over her, you are probably triggering her because that is reminding her of how your father treated her, only she is not "aware" of that. It is better to sit next to her and keep your tone low and patient. Your mother needs to do whatever you are showing her in small steps. Once your mother does each step a few times, she will feel more capable. Most learn by doing.

I am sorry that you have moved from one broken person to yet another and this is causing YOU problems. Try to keep in mind that your mother is a victim of abuse herself and she will be sensitive and have a victim mentality. She should be getting therapy for this, unfortunately there are many out there that should be in therapy but never seek help. This is especially hard if these broken individuals have children because their behaviors hurt the children. It's sad because many parents hurt their children and they really don't realize it. A parent that makes a child feel unworthy or blames their child as you are discribing is HURTING that child and leaving that child confused where the child developes low self esteem. You are a victim yourself, NOT YOUR FAULT, neither of your parents are actually "adults", their behaviors towards you have been expressing their immaturity. That is NEVER the child's fault. What ever way your mother is treating you is WHAT SHE KNOWS, and what you have discribed of her, all she knows is HOW TO ABUSE. I am sorry, but she is really showing you what she has learned, was probably treated that way herself.

Do you have a therapist? If not, you should do some research and see if you can find one, even if you can't afford one, see if you qualify for some kind of aide so you can get access to one. You can also call an abuse hotline, I don't have the numbers but I am sure you can search the net. These individuals are kind and patient, and they can give you numbers to call so you can reach out for help.

((Caring Hugs))
OE