Hey guys,

When I first joined this forum I made a thread about my unstable mom. tl;dr, tbh.

My mother is severely depressed. She takes meds for hyperthyroidism but she is not regularly seeing a docto. Anyway, this time she is taking her pills without skipping a day, but she just had another breakdown. She is not diagnosed, not seeing a therapist or a pdoc and right now she's reluctant again.

She's dependent on my father, I think. This weekend was his birthday (and I happen to be born on his bday, so it's mine too... unfortunately, because now 3/4 of the birthdays 'celebrated' in this house are D days) and he attended to someone's baby shower the day after. She is certain he was actually celebrating his birthday with his "dearest ones" and got mad. She ruined my day too, tbh.

Today she came up accusing my sister and I of defending my father and asking why didn't we go to his 'party' too... among with other horrible things, like "you don't like me", "you'll all be much happier when I'm gone". She probably lashed out at us because her official target wasn't home, which in part is better because it's easier to stop her anger.

I'm afraid to say we're not the best at dealing with her mental condition. Not the worst, but not the best as we're not trained to do it. Specially when she lashes like she does and start saying the most unfair things ever against my sister and I. I don't know if we're being negligent, lacking of empathy... it's so hard to tell. I'm not looking for pity as I know she's suffering, but sometimes, when she pushes me to the edge I throw hurtful things back at her, which are true but probably uncalled, like telling her she is wrong, unfair and that I'm not supposed to hear that...

On the other hand she is triggering my anxiety and I'm gloomy as hell. I didn't even want to stay home on my birthday and had a small anxiety attack.

I honestly don't know what to do. I know she should be seeing doctors, but there's little we can do for her if she refuses. Also, our insurance is on hiatus right now and I hope things will be easier once this issue is solved. Anyway, I'm here, stuck at home while I have tons of things to do because I'm afraid of leaving her alone and not finding her when I'm back! What am I supposed to expect from someone who has nowhere to go and refuses to accept help?