Hello, and thank you for allowing me to join the PsychCentral community!

A little background first-- I have been struggling for a little more than a year with my relationship of over four years, which has lead me to various self help books about relationships as well as personal growth. Both my partner and I are ages hovering around 30 (I am a little younger, he's a little older).

My question involves romantic compatibility between two individuals. In my reading, I have observed a major focus on improving communication, commitment, compromise and growth, etc. to produce a healthy romantic relationship. But these are the same books that talk about repairing a stagnant relationship in which a strong initial attraction and connection has faded. What about the scenario in which a couple never experienced that strong initial attraction that some describe as lust, chemistry, or a honeymoon period?

There is so much negative attention on couples of this generation because we avoid the "fix instead of forget" approach by simply ending relationships. But everyone's situation is different. In a relationship with no physical or emotional abuse, is there a line that should be drawn based on romantic compatibility? If so, how can a person identify it? And is there a time-line in which such a conclusion should be reached? Certainly my relationship has not lacked the attempt of duration.

Thank you in advance for any feedback or experiences that you are able to share!